Janice, Miss Jay, and Tyra

These last few months have been very busy for me, so you can imagine my surprise when I signed on to see that Top Model had beaten American Idol in Celebrity Death Poll X…by a landslide. This was definitely the biggest Death Poll to date, and that is why I must pull out the big guns.

In order to set up this massive execution, I’d have to call upon some help from the master of celebrities and death; Robert Rhine. The Grim Creeper made a few phone calls, sent a couple of emails, and within days had a photo shoot set up involving America’s Next Top Model. Rhine told the crew that this would be done as an “Urban” themed shoot (on location) in a city ally. Once the cameras were ready to roll, we had the judges take their seats. First in was Miss Jay…he/she/it fell somewhere in the middle while Tyra Banks was air lifted by helicopter to her seat on the right. Last but not least, was Janice Dickinson. Until that moment, I wasn’t aware that she had actually died almost a decade ago. Her team of assistants wheeled in a small trunk and opened it. A group of puppeteers then took out the shriveled plasticized corpse of Janice on strings, and got set up on the roof. We then dismissed the crew from their duties. At this point in time, Tyra really wanted to be focused on, so we quickly started rolling. Before Tyra could even say “headshot”, she got one…straight to the melon with a knife. The dolly cam then made a brisk sweep from left to right with a semi-automatic attached to it. We waited 15 mins for Tyra’s mouth to stop moving before making our getaway.

Although these three individuals were surely dead inside, it feels really good to make it official. I have a feeling that bloody splatter can be the next big fashion trend. Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough time to digitally remove the strings from Janice in this pic. Thanks to Robert Rhine and the crew of Top Model for making “Celebrity Death Poll X” fast and easy…just like the models.