Dick Starr's Celebrity Death Poll is back once again and without warning. This is #2 in the super secret CDP: Underground series. Due to recent media coverage and rising popularity of the Death Poll, the NFL has decided to call upon the services of a true professional in "celebrity disposal"...ME!! The Celeb in question...dog fighting dipshit Michael Vick.
The idea that NBC and the NFL pitched to me was very fitting for somebody like Vick, involving his former Pit Bulls and a football field. First thing's first, I need somebody that knows how to handle trained attack Pitts, so I called in the "alpha dog" Cesar Millan. Cesar is better known as "The Dog Whisperer", and truly has a unique bond with dogs of all kinds. At first, the world renowned trainer was hesitant about assisting us in this venture, but, after sending him some images of the dogs Vick abused and murdered...it became more justifiable. With NBC securing a private football field, and the NFL sending Vick there to do a "charity dog walk", it's game time.
Michael Vick stood in the middle of the field with a small camera crew positioned near him. Cesar showed up with the Pitts and slowly approached Vick. Cesar began mentally communicating with the dogs, getting them angry and focused, sealing the fate of our football fuck-up. Michael started to run in the opposite direction when he realized what was happening. Just then, Cesar released the riled up dogs from their harnesses allowing them to tear after their former captor. It took only seconds for them to catch up with, and bring Vick down. The following seconds were pretty graphic, and excessively bloody, but when the little Pitt Bull started pissing on Vick's severed head...we all had a good laugh.
Thanks to the NFL, NBC, and Cesar Millan for making this one of the most rewarding and perhaps sickest Celebrity Death Polls yet! Michael Vick gets it "doggystyle".